Fill-in-the-Blank Valentine's Day Poem for Lazy Men to Give Their Girlfriends or Wives
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Looking for the perfect way to say “I love you” to your girlfriend or wife this Valentine's Day? Maybe you're too broke to buy a decent Hallmark card. Maybe you're too lazy to drive to Hallmark or too antisocial to deal with those pesky, perky Hallmark clerks. Well, at least you're smart enough to realize that women adore personalized love poems almost as much as they adore diamonds and weddings and chocolate and Sean Connery. But you're not William Freakin' Shakespeare! Great love poems don't just write themselves! That's why I've done most of the work for you. Just call me Wilma Freakin' Shakespeare. Print this page, fill in the blanks, and then recopy the entire poem in your own handwriting before presenting it to your sweetheart, and make this Valentine's Day the best Valentine's Day in the history of Valentine's Days.
To My Dearest _______________
You are the most ______________ woman I know
I cannot imagine _______________ without you
When I look into your _____________ eyes, I see _____________
I am transported to ______________ every time we kiss
And when we ______________ , I feel that I am the luckiest man alive
I need you like a ________________ needs his/her/its _______________
I will never stop ________________ing you
You have the sexiest ______________ I have ever seen
Seriously, darling, your ______________ is/are even hotter than _____________'s!
Like ______________ and _____________, we belong together forever
I fall in love with you all over again every time you ________________
I will never forget the way you ______________ in that ______________ dress
Or the way you ________________ when I ________________ you
Remember the ________________ and the _________________?
The best night of my life was the night we __________________ until dawn.
I'll always cherish my memories of your ____________________
And I promise to _______________ you forever
You, _______________, are my one true love
Happy Valentine's Day, _________________
***
I filled in the blanks with some possible responses. Here is the result—a truly unique, special Valentine's Day poem:
To My Dearest Wilma
You are the most fascinating, intelligent, exquisitely gorgeous woman I know
I cannot imagine watching “American Idol” without you
When I look into your vibrant, turquoise eyes, I see strength, wisdom, and passion
I am transported to nirvana every time we kiss
And when we wash dishes together, I feel that I am the luckiest man alive
I need you like a dog needs its favorite chew toy
I will never stop worshiping you
You have the sexiest nose I have ever seen
Seriously, darling, your ears are even hotter than Martin Short's!
Like Bud and Weiser, we belong together forever
I fall in love with you all over again every time you cook me lasagna
I will never forget the way you bounced in that black halter dress
Or the way you rolled your eyes when I proposed to you
Remember the Alamo and the skating rink?
The best night of my life was the night we played Monopoly until dawn.
I'll always cherish my memories of your hair clogging the shower drain
And I promise to stop laughing at you forever
You, Wilma, are my one true love
Happy Valentine's Day, angel breath
Now that you've seen how easy it is, what are you waiting for? Fill in the blanks, and give your lucky girlfriend or wife the perfect Valentine's Day poem she's been dreaming of!